I guess this is a bit of a departure from what I usually post. I suppose this blog’ll just be for my personal musings. I’m having a whale of a time posting over at TV After Dark and have been given opportunities I’m really grateful for. I guess this is just a quick reflection on my naivety and trust. It’s not the obvious thing you’re thinking of.
I wouldn’t say I’m “in the business” or “in the industry” because that’s ridiculous. I’m just a volunteer writer for an amazing outlet with some amazing people. But let’s refer to it as ‘the business’ for easiness’ sake. I’ve learned that you don’t really have much room for friendship–true friendship–that won’t ultimately turn your back on you. Or even worse, you realise the blade’s already been stabbed in your back, slowly, slowly. Again, this isn’t what you think. I’m just musing. But once I trusted in someone and confided everything to that someone. Upon everything going balls-up, they’d buddy up again with all the trouble it’d caused me; that had caused me to do some really bad things. Lies and wrongly taking the moral high ground when in the first place, they definitely took no moral high ground at all–and knew that. Now it’s a bit of a hero complex or “yeah, we’re totally Saviours of Our People!”
So when I debated whether or not to carry on writing, I debated writing for TV After Dark for a long time. I didn’t want that stress. Lemme just say that–without being an utter suck-up–Romancia, who runs TV After Dark, is legit 100%. She’s honest with me. She points out when I make mistakes and gives me a second chance. She is 100% professional and expects the same of me, yet she’s also a bloody good laugh and she’s also like my Obi-Wan Kenobi. She’s taught me a lot, and I owe it to Christopher too. I’ve improved a lot in my writing because of them but I also enjoy what I write because of them, namely Romancia. Like she’ll notice stuff that might be right up my alley. Or she’ll notice when I’m not okay and she’ll give me a message. I count her as a true friend, maybe my only true friend “in this business” (well, the TVAD lot!) because she tells it as it is.
There aren’t any lies from her. There aren’t any suck-ups or weird unprofessional behaviour especially with celebrities. No pestering. Celebrities have real lives; they have thousands and thousands of fans. There’s always 100% professionalism, and I’ve definitely learned that from her, but I’ve also learned that professionalism=/=lack of fun. I know it’s stupid to say at a meagre 22 years of age, but I’ve been naive and I’ve trusted everyone and anyone; I wear my heart on my sleeve and I still do. I try to police it sometimes–most of the time–on social media. But if there’s one–one–publication I can trust, that I love working with, that I utterly admire and is worthy of its 80k followers because of that, it’s TV After Dark. If there’s one person who I think is utterly honest, who would never lie to me, who would always have my back, who doesn’t possess an ounce of fake–it’s Romancia. So boy, am I glad I took up TV After Dark, because it’s been crazy hectic and busy but it’s fun. I really enjoy it. And I guess that’s what counts!
There isn’t any other outlet I’d ever think of that I’d ever want to go to. If by some chance I left TVAD, I wouldn’t go anywhere else. I’d just mope for a bit and click absently on Twitter. I’ve got my little safe-place and I’m really grateful for it.