Heda, may we meet again. Your fight is over, ours is just beginning.

I guess now would be an appropriate first post to promote this excellent fundraiser:

https://www.classy.org/fundraise?fcid=625415

— for the Trevor Project. As of 30/03/2016, it has smashed $108,000 and has inspired LGBTQ youths on a global scale to take action. To take a last stand. They won’t stand to see their once-in-a-million representation torn away from them in the most despicable, cheap, tropey, disgusting way possible–when in all of history, the ‘Bury Your Gays’ trope literally has that covered. In fact, I refuse to believe show-runner of ‘The 100’ did not get a look into Buffy and the Willow/Tara scene, because it was such an exquisite rip-off that it was basically plagiarism. For someone who tauts himself as a creative genius (oh please, your AI storyline is predictable and unoriginal; the Bellamy/Pike storyline is atrocious and reeks of colonialism and xenophobia, and they are still to be pardoned for their genocidal ways–seriously, what does this say about the show runner, who didn’t even know the definition of genocide?).

Anyway I have to confess having a blog of sorts is very freeing. I have to take Professor Elizabeth Bridges for that inspiration because while I love to write, I hate being pressurised and I absolutely loathe that kind of “business”. It’s not appealing to me at all and I think it’s contributing to my downward spiral, not only with my academic work but in my mood. I don’t think I’ve fluctuated so violently with depression and normality until recently and I’m only beginning to pinpoint the reason why, despite the good intentions of many. This is something I think I have to take my own time with, and be honest.

Regardless, this fundraiser is absolutely inspirational. At first, I thought I would donate to offer others hope; I opened up my twitter DM’s and I did just that. In doing so, I became overwhelmed with my own real-life bereavement and the sudden bombardment of teens and young adults alike who were telling me their life stories about how cripplingly depressed they’d become. I understood and empathised as best as I could; I have bipolar type II. Yet I couldn’t carry on and it quickly became too much. Acting like quite the drama queen, I sort of frenzied back and forth on Twitter, deactivating, before reactivating when a severe case of homophobia and idiocy brought me back to an angry rant.

However, now, I think it’s the end. I think I’ll continue writing random musings on this wordpress blog sporadically, because I love writing. But as I’ve discovered I can’t do it on a time-limit. It’s not good for my mental health, and it’s not good for me. I’ve never, ever swung so violently like a pendulum between depressive and normal states before and it scares me, so I think it’s best I take action now before it’s too late.

All the best,

Nico

Advertisements

One Reply to “Heda, may we meet again. Your fight is over, ours is just beginning.”

  1. As a struggling writer who gave up ghost writing simply because I was sick of others profiting from my work, I only ever take a job that interests me now and that pays well enough for me to invest the time. Injury, tiredness (from my meds), depression and anxiety keep me from writing as much as I would like. But, in saying this, things are getting better. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s